Before my son came along, my weekends usually consisted of staying out late with friends, watching my husband’s band play music at local venues and sleeping in. I knew once we got pregnant that my social life would definitely look different but I wasn’t too discouraged because we had couples who had started their own families before us and they seemed to have discovered how to balance being parents and their social life well.
Having a kid can be so scary because of how this little new human being changes everything. I think this is why some couples decide to wait so long. Parenthood definitely comes with its challenges. For me, the biggest challenge has been how to balance the different compartments in my life. At first it was difficult to figure out how to not only be a good mom but a good wife, and friend. In the beginning it felt like I was juggling 50 different balls but with more practice and grace from my loved ones I learned how to juggle well.
It’s unfortunate but many people view parenthood as a death sentence. It’s like they see this sign that says “Parenthood = Goodbye to fun”. If you aren’t a parent yet, I am happy to tell you that parenthood is not a death sentence, it doesn’t mean you have to say goodbye to fun, and it definitely doesn’t mean you have to separate yourselves and only be friends with other parents. Parenthood is really all about time management. Yes. Learning how to manage your time takes some effort on your part but it is not the end of the world folks.
So how do I maintain a good social life while being a mother? It’s a shame when friendships die out because one friend decided to move on to the “next stage in life”. I often hear the same excuses. New parents fear they won’t relate to their friends without kids the same anymore. People without children become offended when their friends who are parents don’t make the same effort to socialize. This doesn’t have to happen. You make time for the things you love. It’s a choice. If you want to maintain the friendships you had before baby came along, you have to choose to make time for them, and this requires some effort. Yes, I am a mom, but I am also a wife and friend. I would be nothing if it wasn’t for my husband and my closest friends in my life. It is these people that remind me who I am beyond just being a mom. Is my social life the same as before? No. My social life has evolved. It just looks different. I am a true believer that parenthood is what you make it. It all comes down to your choices and whether you want to put in the effort for the things that are most important to you. There are parents out there that see parenthood as a death sentence for their social life. There are others who see it as just another season. What choice will you make?
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